Trials of Parenting but a cute little guy too!

I have posted before how challenging C can be.  He can go from being incredibly fun and sweet to a terror.  This jeckyl and hyde personality is always amplified if he is tired or sick.  He has been a bit under the weather for the last couple of weeks.  Scott and I have both been feeling bad for a week or so.  This makes parenting this stubborn child difficult to say the least.  The things about C that make him so much fun are also the things that make him challenging. 

Advanced communication abilities:

Pros: he can tell us what he wants, he tells funny stories, he can recite stories and tons of others
Cons: we know he can communicate and it's extra frustrating when he doesn't use his words to communicate.

Ability for independent play and focus:

Pros: he plays very well by himself if given interesting pretend situations (i.e. he has been playing in his tanker truck all day--a stack of pillows in the corner of our room); he can stick with an idea
Cons: he is hard to dissuade from things/ideas (i.e. I couldn't get him to leave his tanker this morning to run errands and it turned into a full scale battle).  He can also be antisocial and controlling. He doesn't want you to play his pretend in the wrong way.  This leads to lots of frustration with other kids, so he often chooses to play alone.

In addition, C seems to have extreme problems controlling his emotions.  If he isn't getting his way he generally lashes out violently--even if it's hitting inanimate objects or yelling.  Most frustrating are his poor choices to hit us, the dogs, and other kids.  We took him to music class Saturday, and he was having a great time exploring the instruments.  A little boy was playing w/one he was interested, so he picked up a drum stick and whopped the kid on the head.  It was awful.  The little boy didn't cry, but it was really upsetting for me and Scott.  It set a negative tone for the rest of the lesson.  He was standoffish unless the activity was very physical and engaging, and he kept saying he wanted to go home.  He had a good time, but it was frustrating to see him be so anti-social. The owner was amazing trying to engage him.  He responded very well to her.

Scott and I are at such a loss on how to parent him through this.  It is hard to remain calm and cool in these situations.  I also struggle with when I get upset with him that he understands he is still loved.  He usually apologizes to me by telling me he will take care of me.  It is so sweet, but so frustrating.  I know so much of it is his age, but he seems extremely emotional. 

Here are some highlights of the little guy today and from Saturday's music lesson.

Playing in his "tanker truck" (inspired by Monster Trucks, Monster Trucks book--which he has partially memorized).  Getting these overalls on today was an ordeal--he's not worn overalls since before he was a year old, but most things were dirty, and I knew if he didn't wear them now he'd outgrow them.  Pretty cute.  The only way we could get him to stop being irate about wearing them was to tell him he looked like a farmer or a truck driver--so he built his tanker here, where he had been sulking before.

 Looking for "things" to put in his "truck." These things have been tools and dog toy ropes that he uses as lassos and fishing poles. 

A hot chocolate mustache preparing to share with his airplanes.

One is taking a dive to get a "drink." He ended up with all toys that could fly on the table eventually. Lined up of course for their chance at a drink.

Playing the jingle bells he made at music class.

 being the horse in "over the river and through the woods" which he loved after shedding his sweater.

sitting in the corner, but being engaged by an instructor.  She was awesome at trying to help engage him when he pulled away.

And winter officially hasn't started, but it already sucks!