Bring on the mu mu rant

I read Jenny McCarthy's Belly Laughs when I first found out I was pregnant, and I really got a kick out of it. She said at the end of her pregnancy she was desperate for a mu mu. I don't know if I'm desperate for one, but I seriously feel like I should be in one (not that I want to be). I looked at my feet and ankles this weekend, and I swear they looked like I was over 65 years old, a diabetic, and obese. I kept thinking...these are not the feet of a 28 year old. Where's my mu mu, my cigarette, and my rollers. Sorry for the stereotyping, but I feel like a much larger version of Mama from Mama's Family. I've undergone yet another blood test to check my liver function b/c of the itching. I have mixed feelings about this. In some ways I hope it comes back negative, but at the same time if it's positive, maybe he can give me some sort of relief. It's driving me CRAZY! A mu mu in a very loud pattern, something in red to hide the blood spots from when I can't control myself itching, would be very helpful. I can't seem to keep myself clean in pregnancy. I always have food or blood on my shirts. I'm a mess and I don't even have a baby yet.